Ah, the joys of adoption limbo and having no clue when things will happen. I found this blog post that describes what we are going through perfectly. I so want to nest/prepare/shop, but just don't know what we'll need when. I struggled with what to put on the baby registry, or even if it was silly to be making one so soon (late?), but apparently I'm not the only one who feels this way. I find myself thinking (every spare second my brain is not occupied with something else) about the 4 expectant moms that we've had our profiles sent out to. Did our profile even catch their attention? Were we one of two they narrowed down to, or perhaps they picked a fancier looking profile? What are they going through? Do our profiles even get to them before they decide on another adoptive family? Will we get picked in a week, or more like a year? Yes, I know it's all in God's time, and I pray about it daily, but I still keep myself up late, give myself headaches, and wonder wonder wonder.
Fortunately we are not so stressed about the financial end of things. God provides, and when we've needed to pay an adoption fee, the money has been there. Not only is Sam's job doing well, but his website is inconceivably making double what it should be. The meter on the right side of this blog reflects how much we have raised through donations and sales of my model horses, not what we have personally raised. As the year comes to a close, we are that much closer to getting back what we've spent already in adoption tax credits! Looking forward to 2012 and (hopefully) welcoming home the little one. :)
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Officially waiting!
Wednesday I took the first 10 printed copies of our approved profile to the post office. It took us a lot longer to complete than expected, and required 3 revisions to get it just right. After working on it for so long, I didn't really feel like waiting forever for the printouts, so we went with Staples. The results weren't perfect, but good enough.
I figured now it was time to sit down and work on the baby gift registry, and being that I had caught a cold, spent most of the day yesterday working on it. I decided to take a break and check my email, and there was an email from our lawyer letting us know that we already had a referral opportunity! Now I realize it may take many, many referrals before we are picked, but I didn't expect one the same day our profile books were received by our lawyer. It was hard to get to sleep last night.
I figured now it was time to sit down and work on the baby gift registry, and being that I had caught a cold, spent most of the day yesterday working on it. I decided to take a break and check my email, and there was an email from our lawyer letting us know that we already had a referral opportunity! Now I realize it may take many, many referrals before we are picked, but I didn't expect one the same day our profile books were received by our lawyer. It was hard to get to sleep last night.
Friday, September 30, 2011
One corner done
I know people have been anxious to see pictures, so here's the one finished corner of the baby room. We may put up a chair rail if I ever finish the mural completely before the baby arrives, though with all the money I'm spending on Sharpies, we may forgo that idea. Oh, and I also included the crib so people could see the CUTE matching bedding. I'm so excited that I found a set on ebay for a greatly reduced price! As always, click on the picture for a much larger view. :)
Monday, September 26, 2011
Homestudy... check! Profile... check!
Wow, it's been over 2 months since we've had a significant update, and from here on out it's only going to progress slower. Last week our homestudy was officially finished with all the paperwork, background checks, fingerprinting and homestudy fees paid up. It was mailed off to our lawyer, so we can officially start "advertising" ourselves. It's good for 1 year, so hopefully we will be matched before that time is up so we won't have to renew it!
Last night I put the finishing touches on our profile, and after two months it is finally done. I wanted to include a shot of the mural, which is proving to be more difficult than expected. I've learned a few things so far about painting a mural:
Now the question remains, how to be patient while we wait to get picked? I've already been checking my email obsessively all day hoping to hear back from the lawyer about changes to the profile...
Last night I put the finishing touches on our profile, and after two months it is finally done. I wanted to include a shot of the mural, which is proving to be more difficult than expected. I've learned a few things so far about painting a mural:
- If you want to draw on the paint, don't get the expensive kind that is supposed to be resistant to writing on by little ones. Duh! I'm going through Sharpies like candy!
- Paint the background first, THEN add the characters. Painting around characters is an insanely long and tedious process! So much time could have been saved.
- Start with the small trial size paint jars, not 2 gallon cans. I bought one for the grass, and one for the sky, and have barely made a dent in either.
Now the question remains, how to be patient while we wait to get picked? I've already been checking my email obsessively all day hoping to hear back from the lawyer about changes to the profile...
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Meeting with Attorney
Last Wednesday we had our first meeting with our lawyer and the paralegal. There are really only 2 lawyers in the state that specialize in adoption, and having talked with people at our pre-adoption seminar who use the other, I think we chose the right one. He's very informative, knows what he's talking about (of course), is very honest, and also quite amusing. He did make me tell him about myself rather than letting Sam do it, though I am apparently more interesting with my variety of hobbies... poor Sam. We won't be dealing with him much, as his fees are more than twice as much as the paralegal/adoption specialist. Pretty much all he told us was stuff we already knew either from the homestudy process or what the paralegal had told us beforehand. One of the few things that we didn't know was how the birth fathers are handled legally. If they don't know who the father is (or the birth mother won't say for one reason or another), there is a registry that they will put the information. Then the father has up to 30 days after the child is born to claim the child. The lawyer assured us that he could "count on one hand the times that has happened to them in 30 years of practicing", but we are still nervous about that. It's a long time to get attached only to have the child taken away. Also, we will likely spend a week in a hotel with the newborn wherever the child is born while we wait for paperwork and such. This will mean catching a flight the second we know the child is being born (and flying with the necessary baby stuff, hence my concern about having to pay fees for checked luggage), as well as making hotel reservations... all very last-minute! That's something we've never done before, I am so not a last-minute person. It's funny how very different adopting a newborn is from giving birth to your own child. I mean who flies with a week old baby?!
The lawyer also showed us some profile books to give us an idea where to start. It's like a scrapbook, but with a bit more writing telling the birth mom about ourselves, what we do, hobbies, people/animals in our lives, etc. I've started working on it with the help of some Creative Memories software (much cheaper than hiring a professional or the lawyer to do it for us and it's tax deductible), and am happy with the results so far. We still need a few more pictures, but we are getting there. Hard part will be sitting down (or rather getting Sam to) and writing the wording that goes on it. He's the writer, I'm the artsy one. :) Fortunately (or unfortunately?), we have a bit of time to work on it, as we are still waiting for our background checks. I check daily to see if they've charged us for the fingerprint part of it, and still nothing. Just hoping they accept the fingerprints we sent in, as then we'd have to start that waiting process again! The lawyer can't start the search for us until all our background checks are complete, and they have the completed home study (which is in limbo until those come back).
The baby room is a continued work-in-progress. I'm trying really hard to be minimal in what I buy, but at the same time I want it to look done and inviting enough in a picture in our profile to encourage potential birth moms to pick us! The progress is slow on the mural, as it's been so hot and we don't AC the upstairs (it tends to be cool enough at night for sleeping). That will all change when there's a baby up there, of course, but for now it's a lot cheaper to only AC the downstairs where we are during the day. And a teaser pic:
The lawyer also showed us some profile books to give us an idea where to start. It's like a scrapbook, but with a bit more writing telling the birth mom about ourselves, what we do, hobbies, people/animals in our lives, etc. I've started working on it with the help of some Creative Memories software (much cheaper than hiring a professional or the lawyer to do it for us and it's tax deductible), and am happy with the results so far. We still need a few more pictures, but we are getting there. Hard part will be sitting down (or rather getting Sam to) and writing the wording that goes on it. He's the writer, I'm the artsy one. :) Fortunately (or unfortunately?), we have a bit of time to work on it, as we are still waiting for our background checks. I check daily to see if they've charged us for the fingerprint part of it, and still nothing. Just hoping they accept the fingerprints we sent in, as then we'd have to start that waiting process again! The lawyer can't start the search for us until all our background checks are complete, and they have the completed home study (which is in limbo until those come back).
The baby room is a continued work-in-progress. I'm trying really hard to be minimal in what I buy, but at the same time I want it to look done and inviting enough in a picture in our profile to encourage potential birth moms to pick us! The progress is slow on the mural, as it's been so hot and we don't AC the upstairs (it tends to be cool enough at night for sleeping). That will all change when there's a baby up there, of course, but for now it's a lot cheaper to only AC the downstairs where we are during the day. And a teaser pic:
Friday, June 24, 2011
Last visit DONE! We survived!
The social worker was at our house this morning for her final visit. She walked around looking at each room (even the basement), and to her word did not peak in closets. Good thing! Apparently we have a lovely home, and she kept thanking us for cleaning it. I'm a bit surprised that people don't always clean when she's coming. The whole point is to make a good impression so our home study gets approved so we can adopt! She was fascinated by my work room (the horse room) and the mini tack (I had some horses on display with tack on them so she could see what I do). She also ooo'd and ahhh'd at the mural in the baby room, which isn't even close to being done yet, and looks forward to seeing it next time she comes to visit. Hopefully that next visit will be post-adoption, and not to renew our home study. She said that if we aren't matched within 12-15 months, we'll have to renew it. Ugh!
We did have a snag with the background check, as the paperwork that the agency sent us to fill out was apparently the wrong paperwork. So after finding a time Sam could go during the day to get that paperwork notarized (for nothing), we waited half a month to get it sent back with the correct forms and had to do it all over again! It's one of the things that takes the longest, so that was a bit disappointing. We also talked to the lawyer, and they require us to get fingerprints taken and sent to the FBI for approval. It's not required in NH, but some of the other states they deal with require it, so hopefully that doesn't take MONTHS to get back as well.
Next step is to make an appointment with the lawyer to talk about what we are and are not OK with for potential matches, as well as talk about what they like to see in the profile. Though we would have liked to have gotten that done sooner, we've been scrambling to make the house look as perfect as possible for the visit today, so have yet to get that done. Sounds like we'll be waiting for multiple background checks anyway.
And although unrelated, I have been working on being gluten free for 2 1/2 weeks now. I'm pretty convinced that gluten is my issue, as I've gone a week without having a single headache. I'm still quite fatigued, but hopefully that will go away in time. Also, I can now tell when I've accidentally had some gluten, and it's really frustrating how easily it happens. I've been super careful, and still had 3 or 4 days last week where something I ate had gluten in it causing me to have horrible stomach aches. I didn't think I was going to be that sensitive to it, and now I worry about ever eating at a restaurant. I'm going to have to learn to speak up and be very specific with my orders, I guess. At least the headaches seem to be gone, which was my worst symptom.
We did have a snag with the background check, as the paperwork that the agency sent us to fill out was apparently the wrong paperwork. So after finding a time Sam could go during the day to get that paperwork notarized (for nothing), we waited half a month to get it sent back with the correct forms and had to do it all over again! It's one of the things that takes the longest, so that was a bit disappointing. We also talked to the lawyer, and they require us to get fingerprints taken and sent to the FBI for approval. It's not required in NH, but some of the other states they deal with require it, so hopefully that doesn't take MONTHS to get back as well.
Next step is to make an appointment with the lawyer to talk about what we are and are not OK with for potential matches, as well as talk about what they like to see in the profile. Though we would have liked to have gotten that done sooner, we've been scrambling to make the house look as perfect as possible for the visit today, so have yet to get that done. Sounds like we'll be waiting for multiple background checks anyway.
And although unrelated, I have been working on being gluten free for 2 1/2 weeks now. I'm pretty convinced that gluten is my issue, as I've gone a week without having a single headache. I'm still quite fatigued, but hopefully that will go away in time. Also, I can now tell when I've accidentally had some gluten, and it's really frustrating how easily it happens. I've been super careful, and still had 3 or 4 days last week where something I ate had gluten in it causing me to have horrible stomach aches. I didn't think I was going to be that sensitive to it, and now I worry about ever eating at a restaurant. I'm going to have to learn to speak up and be very specific with my orders, I guess. At least the headaches seem to be gone, which was my worst symptom.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
3 down, 1 to go!
I'm a little behind on updating, mostly because we've been so busy! We've had to make an effort to spend some time together just Sam and I doing something other than work and adoption prep, which is new for us after Sam not having a job for 4 months. No complaints on him having a job, but sometimes you just don't realize how time can fly by without that "us" time. Sam and I have both had our solo home study appointments, and I survived mine. Woo! Well, we both survived, but I was the one nervous about it. Not that we have anything to worry about, as the social worker assured me, but I still felt like I was not explaining myself well and saying stupid stuff. Our last home study, the one that will actually be at our house, is scheduled for the 24th. If only we'd finished our house prep, we could have had it this Friday! Still so much to do, though. At least we don't have to clean out the closets that much, as she promised she wouldn't look in those. :)
Thank you *SO MUCH* to everybody that's donated money and bought from our fundraiser pages! Between my models sold and the money you all have helped us raise, we had enough to cover all of our pre-adoption expenses! We've also recently received enough to cover most of the initial attorney retainer (I need to update the thermometer to the right to reflect that). We still have quite a bit to raise, but it amazes me how when we needed it, the money was there. We are now all paid up on pre-adoption expenses, have mailed in our notarized background checks, medical sheet filled out from our physicals, and are now just waiting on 1 birth certificate (come on Virginia *taps foot*), our proof of health insurance, and any outstanding references. Time to start working on our "Dear expectant parent(s)" letter/profile and pick out our prettiest, most interesting pictures to include with it. I'll be sure to update when everything is done and we are finally "EXPECTING"!
Thank you *SO MUCH* to everybody that's donated money and bought from our fundraiser pages! Between my models sold and the money you all have helped us raise, we had enough to cover all of our pre-adoption expenses! We've also recently received enough to cover most of the initial attorney retainer (I need to update the thermometer to the right to reflect that). We still have quite a bit to raise, but it amazes me how when we needed it, the money was there. We are now all paid up on pre-adoption expenses, have mailed in our notarized background checks, medical sheet filled out from our physicals, and are now just waiting on 1 birth certificate (come on Virginia *taps foot*), our proof of health insurance, and any outstanding references. Time to start working on our "Dear expectant parent(s)" letter/profile and pick out our prettiest, most interesting pictures to include with it. I'll be sure to update when everything is done and we are finally "EXPECTING"!
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