Last Wednesday we had our first meeting with our lawyer and the paralegal. There are really only 2 lawyers in the state that specialize in adoption, and having talked with people at our pre-adoption seminar who use the other, I think we chose the right one. He's very informative, knows what he's talking about (of course), is very honest, and also quite amusing. He did make me tell him about myself rather than letting Sam do it, though I am apparently more interesting with my variety of hobbies... poor Sam. We won't be dealing with him much, as his fees are more than twice as much as the paralegal/adoption specialist. Pretty much all he told us was stuff we already knew either from the homestudy process or what the paralegal had told us beforehand. One of the few things that we didn't know was how the birth fathers are handled legally. If they don't know who the father is (or the birth mother won't say for one reason or another), there is a registry that they will put the information. Then the father has up to 30 days after the child is born to claim the child. The lawyer assured us that he could "count on one hand the times that has happened to them in 30 years of practicing", but we are still nervous about that. It's a long time to get attached only to have the child taken away. Also, we will likely spend a week in a hotel with the newborn wherever the child is born while we wait for paperwork and such. This will mean catching a flight the second we know the child is being born (and flying with the necessary baby stuff, hence my concern about having to pay fees for checked luggage), as well as making hotel reservations... all very last-minute! That's something we've never done before, I am so not a last-minute person. It's funny how very different adopting a newborn is from giving birth to your own child. I mean who flies with a week old baby?!
The lawyer also showed us some profile books to give us an idea where to start. It's like a scrapbook, but with a bit more writing telling the birth mom about ourselves, what we do, hobbies, people/animals in our lives, etc. I've started working on it with the help of some Creative Memories software (much cheaper than hiring a professional or the lawyer to do it for us and it's tax deductible), and am happy with the results so far. We still need a few more pictures, but we are getting there. Hard part will be sitting down (or rather getting Sam to) and writing the wording that goes on it. He's the writer, I'm the artsy one. :) Fortunately (or unfortunately?), we have a bit of time to work on it, as we are still waiting for our background checks. I check daily to see if they've charged us for the fingerprint part of it, and still nothing. Just hoping they accept the fingerprints we sent in, as then we'd have to start that waiting process again! The lawyer can't start the search for us until all our background checks are complete, and they have the completed home study (which is in limbo until those come back).
The baby room is a continued work-in-progress. I'm trying really hard to be minimal in what I buy, but at the same time I want it to look done and inviting enough in a picture in our profile to encourage potential birth moms to pick us! The progress is slow on the mural, as it's been so hot and we don't AC the upstairs (it tends to be cool enough at night for sleeping). That will all change when there's a baby up there, of course, but for now it's a lot cheaper to only AC the downstairs where we are during the day. And a teaser pic:
Thanks for the update! It's so awesome to hear how things are coming along. I'm glad things are going well.
ReplyDeleteMy best suggestion about the last minute plane trip is to get a list of things you'll want to have so that when you get the call you can just check off the list. You might already have that in mind, but I thought I'd throw it out there anyway.
And if you need help deciding what you might need for the baby that first week I'd be happy to help. Though I'm sure you have lots of other friends and family that can help too. :-)
Love you both!
Love the picture! Here's a suggestion (only a suggestion) when you get the background check so things start moving along more and some baby things for the trip, wash and pack them before you know it's time to go. Check them against your list as they go into the suitcase/bag. Less to do or forget when that great moment of excitement arrives. Maybe you've already thought of it.
ReplyDeleteLove, Mom S
fAmy: Yes, I do have a list going (will post it later when background checks and profile are done)... I actually do that with every trip we go on, even just camping trips. I'm too scatter-brained to remember everything last-minute! Will hit you up to make sure I've thought of everything later on. :)
ReplyDeleteMom: Yep, thought of that too... kind of like preparing for the trip to the hospital when yer pregnant. Thanks for the suggestion, though!
The difference being we won't know whether it will be 1 day or 1 year, so will have to plan ahead and probably buy stuff we'd normally just put on a registry for a shower or whatnot.